will my return disappoint some? neh wat the heck

Saturday, November 19, 2005

~~heartache that i never thought i will ever feel again ~~

I'm have not felt so weak in a long long time - - i can't help it, the tears cant stop falling - - crap u might think - - but there are some people and things whom i really try to keep and am pissed with myself shd i fail to do so - -

Was shivering earlier- - biting my lower lips in fear that i would shed a tear in front of him which i never allowed myself to- - i shooed him out of my home less then 5mins after he entered - - he left without looking back... i felt betrayed - - i am hurt by him - - and yet i hate myself the most - -

My Story

Danny came over earlier to my place - - telling me that he is leaving later in the night for China on a business trip till Monday late nite - - which well was normal - - he was suppose to bring a belated bday gift for me -- which he well "forgot" as expected- -

Zoomed in on his neck and i saw this real raw red mark which i didnt wanna question any further about - - anyway he was passionate, we kissed and hugged and he took off his top - - happily declaring that the 2 love bites -_ one on the neck and the other on his chest were left by his ex - - i was fuming - - (somethings which i do not question, i dont expect u to be so truthful) i was so damn pissed - - and he took it like - - heh - - its nothing serious ya ( i was just being frank) - - bit my lower lips hard enuff- -threw him his shirt - - get out i said - - it was all silence thereafter - - he dressed up - - i marched to the main door opening it asap - - he did not look back - - he left and i cldnt control my tears further - -

cried myself to sleep waking up 3 hrs later to find myself smsing him that i was sorry for my childish behaviour and wishing him bon vayage - - he did not reply and my heart sank infinitely - - i wanna give him up for gd, but he always returns with so much sweet nothings to say that i keep falling back more into his embrace - -

I yearn yet fear him - - does he ever think of how i felt ?? hah- - Am i expecting too much or have i been taken for granted - -


4 Comments:

  • At Saturday, November 19, 2005 9:00:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have been quiet..traveling and preparing for AU
    I have been quiet for the past few days because I am preparing for Autodesk University "AU" which is only a week away and looking to be over 5000 people this year.
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  • At Monday, November 21, 2005 2:35:00 AM, Blogger Alex said…

    Think you have been taken for granted ... what a cad, that Danny. You were right to ask him to get out.

     
  • At Monday, November 21, 2005 1:50:00 PM, Blogger Devil said…

    I dont wish to comment anything on what he had done but i believed that since he dared to show up with the love bites, means that somehow the relation between you two are mutual and he expects you to be okay with it. Ask yourself, what kind of relationship did you start off with him? BGR or as players? If BGR, yes he's a fucking bastard and you should leave him and start seeing other guys (can consider me, heehee)! However if right from start, it's supposed to be sex partner, then it's your bad to start expecting more from him.

    My advise is sit him down and talk things through, tell him that you no longer want the old relationship you had and you are expecting more. From there, see what he says and decide what's best for you!

    PS: He really should respect you and wait till the bites faint away before visiting you!

     
  • At Tuesday, November 29, 2005 5:15:00 PM, Blogger Blink said…

    Poor thing dearie i agreed wat devil had said.....
    dun sad ok.......

     

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