My fear of X'mas

walking down Orchard Road can be quite depressing - - seeing people hand in hand/ family outings happily smiling for fotos with the xmas lightings - - i EnVY such simple happiness --

Don't get me wrong, i am not always a sulky individual - - but am one who enjoys company and detest loneliness - - I'm not afraid to admit that i tend to be quite pessimistic if left alone - - so when i see people enjoying themselves with company for pictures, I very much wanna share that moment - -

With Xmas drawing near, I'm glad that i have already have plans this yr- - a BBQ gathering which well, i agreed without hesitation - - with age, such gatherings get rarer - -
















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Many years ago, i remember this simple outing with this young guy friend of mine who was ever so caring -- remembered every occasion and am always there for me - - well, he is younger then me, so we were never together - - but so, i spent this damn romantic Xmas with him - - same place Orchard Rd - - I really can't recall where we dined, -- but i remembered him giving me a bouquet of roses and 2 Richard claydeman CD's which happens to be my fav in those days - - nothing exotic happened , but i just that it began to pour heavily - - me being the moronic soul, always suggest that we walk in the rain - - not many people oblige --always saying i'm mad- how to get home later? -- well, anyway, he held my hand, strolled in the rain -- we even tried dancing in the rain to the mockery of many other road users trying their best to get sheltered - -

Anyway, he did leave me quite a deep impression -- younger guys are less affected by how public view them isn't it?

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worst Xmas -- I was sick at home - - no one remembered me - - i felt horrible but acted tough - - told the rest of my family to enjoy themselves at a party while i cried myself to sleep - - Lonesome Xmas -- I rather not remember - -

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